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This is my little neighbor Emma. By the time I came over to babysit her this day,
she had been wearing this fairy wings for over 24 hours. I love this girl. |
I was hanging out with two of my male friends the other night when they began talking about parenting, which is apparently a common topic of conversation for them. For me, on the other hand, I want to be a mother-- biological and foster-- and I want a big family. But I don't often think about the specifics, which is odd, because that's basically my major ("Family Studies"). It all seems to abstract. But for the sake of being able to look back and laugh at my skewed views of parenting later, I want to record some thoughts on the topic here.
I want my children to know they are loved, individually and with the deepest devotion. I want them to feel free to express themselves, to play, to explore. I want them to know that they are safe, always. I don't want them to live in fear. I want them to know the things I believe in, not because I tell them necessarily, but because of how I live. I want them to know that there are things that are eternally important, and that there are things that really aren't that important in the long run. I want them to know with a surety the commitment that their father and I have for each other-- I want to settle for nothing less. I want them to know their own strengths, but recognize that they don't need to be perfect. I want them to learn in their own ways. I want them to know the importance of loving and serving others, in our family, in the church, in the community, and the world-- and in serving with no thought of reward. I want them to "Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad" (Jeffrey R. Holland).
We had a guest speaker in my family sociology class this morning-- a woman who has been a foster parent to 36 children, with 16 children currently under her roof (7 foster, 9 adopted). Each child had come from the worst of situations. She showed up pictures of the children as she introduced each one-- first a picture from when they first came to her, and then one of them now. The different was astounding between the "before" and "after" pictures-- there was a light in each child's eyes, a sense of confidence and love that had been missing before. They were glowing, and it was all because they were finally in an environment where they were nurtured and loved and truly cherished. This mother spoke of each child with such love and admiration.
She still remembers the birthdays of each of her 36 children.
Anyway, those are some thoughts on the subject of parenting. I think it all comes down to love. But what doesn't?
(Future-children, if you're reading this and I screwed up big time, I'm way sorry about that. But good intentions, right?)
