New Project / Free Download: "Everything" + Lullabies

In 2012, upon hearing that my friend's sister and her husband suffered a miscarriage, words began pouring into my mind and within an hour, "Everything" was written. A year later, they asked if they could share the song with other families who have lost a child. I re-recorded "Everything" along with two other lullabies I had previously arranged, and am now releasing that as a free download. Please feel free to share it, as that is it's purpose-- to hopefully bring comfort to families who are grieving.

I, Allison Barnes, arranged and recorded "All the Pretty Little Horses" and "Hush Little Baby." I also wrote an additional ending to "Hush Little Baby."

"Everything" was written and sung by me, Allison Barnes, with guitar by David Rose.

Download the album here.

Portland con mi hermano

"Let me tell you something, Gob. We're going to track this Hermano down, ok? And we're going to nail him. Because if anyone's going to go out with that girl, it's going to be one of us." -Michael Bluth

There's no particular reason I switched to Spanish there, but it did remind me of Arrested Development. Are you hearing Gob say "hermano" in that voice? Yeah?

Mi hermano Gary and I went to Voodoo Doughnuts on Monday afternoon. The night before, we went to Salt & Straw (I got the honey lemon with ricotta walnut cookies, and pear with blue cheese... but I couldn't taste the blue cheese as prominently as I was hoping. Oh well, still good. I tasted a bit of the dandelion sorbet, and it was also delicious. I wish I could go back and get a whole scoop of it). On Monday evening we went out for sushi, and I consumed fish eggs for the first time (as in, I figured it was fish eggs on the roll, but refused to think about it until after I was done, then I confirmed it with Gary. I like to try new things, but sometimes I need to stay in ignorance about it).

A lot of walking and hiking in between (see Multnomah Falls, above). Portland is a fantastic city, truly. Everything there just makes sense.

I love love love my brother and am so glad I was able to go visit him in his element. If you haven't already seen it, check out my brother's new travel show, Nomadicality. It is both hilarious and gorgeously filmed. And only 10 minutes long. You can watch the first episode here.

If you are going to Portland on a tight budget and need a place to stay, I highly recommend Motel 6 Tigard West (info here). It was only about $50/night, and while they were lacking some amenities (no blow dryer, shampoo, etc.), it was very well-maintained, and they had the best customer service I have ever experienced at a hotel. It was also close to the freeway and a lot of restaurants and fast food.

There were moments today when my heart could have exploded with bliss. And I think there's something so sacred and glorious about those moments, despite their outward simplicity.

Unintentionally related to my last post:

Within the last two months, two of my missionary friends have had dreams of being at my wedding. (Keep in mind, I'm not even looking to date anyone right now).

Today my dear friend Kathryn messaged me on gmail the following:

Kathryn: I had a dream I was at your wedding last night.
Just so you know, you were totes adorable!

 me: whaaat. hahahaha you are the second person in the last two months to have had a dream about my wedding.

  bizarre. the other one was sister vincent.

 Kathryn: Did she also dream that you served MacN cheese? Because if so, I believe it was truth.

 me: no, but that sounds like an excellent plan.

 Kathryn: AMEN!

 me: was my husband super adorbs?

 Kathryn: Super adorbs. I didnt see his face, but he was dressed well. Your cousin kept holding her bouquet over his face and I was like, KEITH I cant see him!

  ( i was literally saying that outloud. in my sleep )

 me: HAHAH really?!

 Kathryn: he woke me up and said, Who cant you see?

(Note: Keith is Kathryn's husband)

I'm glad that so many people have dreams and visions of my future family (another one happened last year), because I can't even imagine it. Pretty cool if you ask me.

Friday Night

On Friday night I played a little garden show at Alicia's house. It was so nice to play again- it was the first time playing a solo show in years-- there was Foreign Loren from 2007-2008, a couple open mics in 2010, playing with Cartoon Bar Fight a couple times earlier in 2012... but I can't remember the last time that I played an entire set solo. My dear friend Kylie also joined me on violin for a couple of songs. It was a wonderful evening. I think Alicia got some video, so I'll hopefully be posting some of that up here for you, too.

Before I headed home, Alicia gave me that beautiful print, "You are so loved." It now resides on my dresser beside the vintage lamp from my Great Grandma Mary. There is a lot of love in that little space of my bedroom, and I am so grateful.

Top 3+ Meaningful Films (In My Opinion!)

1. Everything Is Illuminated (2005). Beautiful film. It kills me everytime, in the best way. The language is a bit rough in the beginning, mostly subtitled, so you've been warned. And the subject matter is pretty deep. Basically, teenagers and adults will benefit from it, but younger audiences should probably steer clear.

2. Bliss (2007). Oh my goodness. This film. I had to see it twice in a week just to grasp it. This film explores cross-cultural gender roles and customs, the idea of purity, and tackles tough subject matters such as rape, suicide, murder, and post traumatic stress disorder. But it ends so, so beautifully. I'm always worried about that with stories like this, but it nailed it. Life seems to much more vibrant having seen this film.

3. The Fountain (2006). I love this film. It's a bit harder to follow because there are three different story lines woven together. But have patience. It will beat you up, break your heart, but give you so much hope. I love it. Just trust me.

If you are short on time or don't want to commit to a full length right now, I'll always recommend The Butterfly Circus (2009). Short, but oh so sweet and meaningful. And perfectly appropriate for all audiences. And you can watch it on youtube. It will make your soul feel alive.

I Love You, Utah

Can you see why I love this place?

Among other reasons.

Someday

This movie is a big reason why I want to adopt children someday. Specifically around the 1:40 mark. Even if I can biologically have children someday, if I can be a foster or adoptive parent, that would be incredible. Imagine the good that can come from that.

I saw the Odd Life of Timothy Green today and it again reaffirmed that. Love and be loved. That's the way to do it.

I have been living in a lovely dream world filled with music, blogging, the temple, planning, and simply enjoying the presence of those around me. Who knew that such bliss existed?

utah, autumn 2010

feeling alive

Last weekend, due to some sneaky conspiring between Dirk (above, beanie) and I, I surprised my dear friend Kendall (also above, ukulele) by showing up in her little town of San Jose, CA unannounced. She was beyond happy, and we began our lovely productive weekend of fun together.

Friday night I joined their band, Cartoon Bar Fight, to play a show. It was pure bliss singing with them again.

The rest of the weekend was spent eating delicious food, shopping, hiking, and recording my new EP. You read that correctly- new EP. I'm doing music again, and I love it. For at least right now, I have solved my dilemma- I'm just going to go for it and do what I love, and if I give it my all, maybe it will sustain me despite the fact that generally speaking, music is not a very lucrative path to go down. But I'm giving it my all, and I am loving it. We'll see what happens!

The Butterfly Circus

Do you have 20 minutes to spare? If so, watch this short movie. It will soothe your heart and make you feel whole again. So beautiful. Favorite part? Around minute 12.

Happy Monday, friends!

Florence + the Machine: Shake It Out

A few days ago, I wrote this post on the We Are Women blog.

Consider this video part two.

Regrets collect like old friends

Here to relive your darkest moments

I can see no way, I can see no way

And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh

But I like to keep some things to myself

I like to keep my issues drawn

It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been fool and I've been blind

I can never leave the past behind

I can see no way, I can see no way

I'm always dragging that horse around

etsy : please be still

She's Got The Magic: Pacing The Panic Room

This woman has got an awesome sense of humor. Her husband documented her pregnancy weekly on his really great blog, then made this stop action movie of it a year later. So fun! I love it! Enjoy!


Magic- A Belly Grows from The Panic Room Videos on Vimeo.
 

The New Mormon.org

The Church has a new website, and whoever designed it deserves a pat on the back. It feels like something out of an IKEA store (if IKEA specialized in web design). The layout is perfect and easy to navigate, so if you've ever been wondering what members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe, now's the time to check it out.

I know that this is the complete and true church of Jesus Christ. We believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. The two books compliment each other perfectly, with the Book of Mormon backing up and/or clarifying everything taught in the Bible. I know that this is the true church not because someone told me it was, but because I prayed about it and received my own confirmation.

"I myself have no power. It's the people behind me who have the power. Real power comes only from the Creator. It's in His hands. But if you're asking about strength, not power, then I can say that the greatest strength is gentleness." 

-Leon Shenandoah, Six Nations Iroquois Confederacy 

(source: Wisdomkeepers).

I Made This For You.

Stephen and Shauna of "Something's Hiding In Here" are the cutest,
and I think their gifts to each other are adorable,
as are their vintage bikes.

Hint to Future-Husband:
Stephen knows how to treat his wife.
Hint. Hint.

Congrats on the Graduating with your respective higher education degrees, Dad and Gary!

The two men who are 
always there for me.

...But since when did they decide to grow out their hair?
Was this a group decision?
Is dad handling the beard because Gary doesn't have confidence in his beard potential?
And is Gary growing out his head-hair because dad's lush locks are diminishing?
And will Gary's hair be as long as my hair by the time I get back home this summer?
And will that make me more insecure about the chance of me looking like a boy?!?!!

Anyway.

Dear Dad and Gary, You'd like this video:



Haaaaa!

Womanhood

If you missed General Conference this weekend (or want to re-live it a bit), I encourage you to check out Julie B. Beck's talk on womanhood, which was given during the Saturday Morning session. Click here to download the mp3.

This was a conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but regardless of religion, Beck's talk is worth hearing. It's quite beautiful. For clarification on terms or doctrine of the church, visit Mormon.org.

My Savior

Read this entire talk from the April 2009 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints here.

I hope your Easter Sunday is a beautiful one!