Friend/Family Pride

Cartoon Bar Fight, Tin Can Alehouse, 5 January 2013
Photo by Gary Barnes

This is my dear friend (and soul sister) Kendall. We went from being in musicals in high school, to playing in rock/pop bands together/separately in 2007-2008. Though we are now separated by a couple states, we still gush over each other's music and collaborate when possible.

I just love her, and I love how we can rely on each other so much-- personally, but also musically. Right now she fronts the band Cartoon Bar Fight (pictured above).  I've been able to make it up to the bay area to play some shows with them over the last year or so. Oh, I wish it could be more. Right this second I am listening to them play live on KSJS, a radio station in San Jose, CA. I just love them. All of them. And I am so, so proud of them.

From May 16 - May 30, Cartoon Bar Fight will be doing a mini tour around the bay area. More info here.

Also, my brother took that picture of them earlier this year. I also am way proud of him. If you haven't already, check out his photography website here, or his travel web series here.

Portland con mi hermano

"Let me tell you something, Gob. We're going to track this Hermano down, ok? And we're going to nail him. Because if anyone's going to go out with that girl, it's going to be one of us." -Michael Bluth

There's no particular reason I switched to Spanish there, but it did remind me of Arrested Development. Are you hearing Gob say "hermano" in that voice? Yeah?

Mi hermano Gary and I went to Voodoo Doughnuts on Monday afternoon. The night before, we went to Salt & Straw (I got the honey lemon with ricotta walnut cookies, and pear with blue cheese... but I couldn't taste the blue cheese as prominently as I was hoping. Oh well, still good. I tasted a bit of the dandelion sorbet, and it was also delicious. I wish I could go back and get a whole scoop of it). On Monday evening we went out for sushi, and I consumed fish eggs for the first time (as in, I figured it was fish eggs on the roll, but refused to think about it until after I was done, then I confirmed it with Gary. I like to try new things, but sometimes I need to stay in ignorance about it).

A lot of walking and hiking in between (see Multnomah Falls, above). Portland is a fantastic city, truly. Everything there just makes sense.

I love love love my brother and am so glad I was able to go visit him in his element. If you haven't already seen it, check out my brother's new travel show, Nomadicality. It is both hilarious and gorgeously filmed. And only 10 minutes long. You can watch the first episode here.

If you are going to Portland on a tight budget and need a place to stay, I highly recommend Motel 6 Tigard West (info here). It was only about $50/night, and while they were lacking some amenities (no blow dryer, shampoo, etc.), it was very well-maintained, and they had the best customer service I have ever experienced at a hotel. It was also close to the freeway and a lot of restaurants and fast food.

Merry Christmas from the Barnes Family!

This isn't actually our family photo for this year. Obviously it's a reject (my awkward sibling snuggles, and dad having no teeth? he has a really nice smile in real life, honest. sorry dad)-- and I actually took this picture of the picture with my cell phone while it was on my brother's computer screen. So, it's a picture of a family picture on a computer. (sorry to my photographer brother-- he really is a way legit photographer). Anyway, I think this picture is hilarious. So, sorry everyone. Merry Christmas!!

Unintentionally related to my last post:

Within the last two months, two of my missionary friends have had dreams of being at my wedding. (Keep in mind, I'm not even looking to date anyone right now).

Today my dear friend Kathryn messaged me on gmail the following:

Kathryn: I had a dream I was at your wedding last night.
Just so you know, you were totes adorable!

 me: whaaat. hahahaha you are the second person in the last two months to have had a dream about my wedding.

  bizarre. the other one was sister vincent.

 Kathryn: Did she also dream that you served MacN cheese? Because if so, I believe it was truth.

 me: no, but that sounds like an excellent plan.

 Kathryn: AMEN!

 me: was my husband super adorbs?

 Kathryn: Super adorbs. I didnt see his face, but he was dressed well. Your cousin kept holding her bouquet over his face and I was like, KEITH I cant see him!

  ( i was literally saying that outloud. in my sleep )

 me: HAHAH really?!

 Kathryn: he woke me up and said, Who cant you see?

(Note: Keith is Kathryn's husband)

I'm glad that so many people have dreams and visions of my future family (another one happened last year), because I can't even imagine it. Pretty cool if you ask me.

Parenting

This is my little neighbor Emma. By the time I came over to babysit her this day,
she had been wearing this fairy wings for over 24 hours. I love this girl.

I was hanging out with two of my male friends the other night when they began talking about parenting, which is apparently a common topic of conversation for them. For me, on the other hand, I want to be a mother-- biological and foster-- and I want a big family. But I don't often think about the specifics, which is odd, because that's basically my major ("Family Studies"). It all seems to abstract. But for the sake of being able to look back and laugh at my skewed views of parenting later, I want to record some thoughts on the topic here.

I want my children to know they are loved, individually and with the deepest devotion. I want them to feel free to express themselves, to play, to explore. I want them to know that they are safe, always. I don't want them to live in fear. I want them to know the things I believe in, not because I tell them necessarily, but because of how I live. I want them to know that there are things that are eternally important, and that there are things that really aren't that important in the long run. I want them to know with a surety the commitment that their father and I have for each other-- I want to settle for nothing less. I want them to know their own strengths, but recognize that they don't need to be perfect. I want them to learn in their own ways. I want them to know the importance of loving and serving others, in our family, in the church, in the community, and the world-- and in serving with no thought of reward. I want them to "Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad" (Jeffrey R. Holland).

We had a guest speaker in my family sociology class this morning-- a woman who has been a foster parent to 36 children, with 16 children currently under her roof (7 foster, 9 adopted). Each child had come from the worst of situations. She showed up pictures of the children as she introduced each one-- first a picture from when they first came to her, and then one of them now. The different was astounding between the "before" and "after" pictures-- there was a light in each child's eyes, a sense of confidence and love that had been missing before. They were glowing, and it was all because they were finally in an environment where they were nurtured and loved and truly cherished. This mother spoke of each child with such love and admiration.

She still remembers the birthdays of each of her 36 children.

Anyway, those are some thoughts on the subject of parenting. I think it all comes down to love. But what doesn't?

(Future-children, if you're reading this and I screwed up big time, I'm way sorry about that. But good intentions, right?)

The Lake Poway End Fistula 5k is tomorrow!

See you there?

Hey Brother.

Happy Birthday Brother.

Congrats on the Graduating with your respective higher education degrees, Dad and Gary!

The two men who are 
always there for me.

...But since when did they decide to grow out their hair?
Was this a group decision?
Is dad handling the beard because Gary doesn't have confidence in his beard potential?
And is Gary growing out his head-hair because dad's lush locks are diminishing?
And will Gary's hair be as long as my hair by the time I get back home this summer?
And will that make me more insecure about the chance of me looking like a boy?!?!!

Anyway.

Dear Dad and Gary, You'd like this video:



Haaaaa!

Let Earth Receive Her King

[Mark Mabry, from Reflections of Christ]

plant a tree:

"An ancient and lovely tradition is to plant a tree when a new baby is born. According to the Talmud, in biblical times a cedar was planted for a son, a cypress for a daughter (Talmud Gitten 57a). The cedar symbolized strength and stature; the cypress gentleness and sweetness. The children cared for their own trees, and when the child was ready to be married, branches were cut from the tree to make the chuppah.

You can build on this custom by planting a tree at every birthday. Children can watch their "family" of trees grow. You can use the occasion to tell the story of Honi, the Circle Maker, the miracle worker of Second Temple times (first century BCE), who planted carob trees throughout Israel. Once when a passerby asked why Honi bothered to plant a tree that would take 70 years to bear fruit, Honi replied, 'As my ancestors planted for me, so do I plant for my children.' If you cannot plant a tree in a yard, arrange to plant one in the Children's Forest in Israel."

-Jewish Family & Life: Traditions, Holidays, and Values for Today's Parents and Children.
(Yosef I. Abramowitz & Rabbi Susan Silverman)

The Greatest Treasure

I got to work tonight and was told by a co-worker that earlier that afternoon, at the dance competition we were selling tickets for, a woman went into shock. She had just received news that her husband had died on his way to this competition that her daughter was dancing in. The paramedics were called. Her daughter was told of her father's death when she finished dancing.

My co-worker summed up the story and I stared at her, then cried. Then a few minutes later I cried again, imagining the despair the woman must feel as she lays in her bed tonight, suddenly alone.

I cry because families are, or at least should be, the most important things in our lives. Families form the foundation of our communities. Material possessions and worldly pursuits may come and go, but families can be with us forever. I know that even though this woman and her family may feel the deepest hell right now, they will see their husband/father again someday. I take comfort in that, and I know that they do, too.

If you do not view your family as your treasure, I urge you to restructure your life to make this a truth for you.

I am grateful to the area of studies I have entered into ("Marriage & Family Studies") and the knowledge I have gained already on this subject. Now I present to you, resources and inspiration for unifying your family in this troubled world of ours:

• The Creative Family by Amanda Blake Soule. (and her blog.)
  
• Putting Family First by Dr. Doherty and Barbara Carlson.
• NieNieDialogues (Start reading, you will be hooked).
• Sarah Jane Studios.
  
• "Parenting With Purpose" by Susan Hayward.
• Amy Karol / Angry Chicken
• Helping and Healing our Families: Principles and Practices Inspired by 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World.'

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And if you are confused as to why I'm putting this on the "Apple Handmades" blog:
Is there any greater creation than the family?
Can any work ever be more gratifying?
Please consider your priorities, and move the people who love you the most
to the top of your list if you have not done so already.